My dear friend Javier invited me to go out with him and told me, “Jaime and I will be waiting for you at Ozumo, get yourself gorgeous and meet us there.” I did as I was told. I wore a cute outfit, took extra time to put on my makeup, and made my hair voluminous. I even organized my apartment before heading out.
I hailed a cab, and soon I arrived at Ozumo. There they were, drinking Dirty Martinis at the bar. After the pre-drinks and an inspection for cute guys, we headed to a club called Temple. We sat in the lobby area and waited for the main dance floor to open. Javi and I were on a mission to find a cute guy, but I was sure that was not going to happen in there. Tired and a little tipsy from the considerable amount of Dirty Martinis, I wanted to call it a night. Still, Javier convinced me to wait. “At least check out the place inside,” he insisted, “It’s pretty cool.” I loved hanging out with Javi, so I stayed.
Once the club opened, we wandered around and spent a few minutes on each of the three dance floors, and scanned the guys. After dancing to music I had never danced to, we settled in the main room where a DJ was playing Deep House. Javi was enthusiastic, showing me all the guys he thought were cute. I didn’t like any until I spotted a handsome loner at the bar. “Javi, see that guy there at the bar?” I pointed subtly, “I like that one!” “Ok,” Javi said, and we kept on dancing. Suddenly, I noticed Javi making weird hand movements, and next thing I know, the hot guy was asking me to dance.
We danced for a minute or two, and then he invited me to get a drink. The conversation began. “What’s your name?” I asked. “Ricardo, and yours?” he responded. “Gina.”, I said. “Your friend had been looking at me and making signs for some time,” he said, “I’m glad you were the reason for that.” During that brief chat, I grasped the rhythm of his accent. I imagined he was from some exotic place outside of the USA. “Are you from around here?” He asked. “No, I am from Nicaragua, and you?” I said. “I am from Brazil,” he replied. I wish I could remember more about our conversation. However, I can’t, because right after he said Brazil, I was floating inside his eyes, dancing Samba to the sound of his words. He invited us to an underground party. Javi, Jaime, and I had a quick chat and decided to go check out the party with our new friend. Was there anything better to do anyway?
Our cab stopped somewhere in Chinatown in front of a narrow door. It was quiet and dark outside, didn’t seem like a party was going on anywhere around. We went inside the tiny door and walked down a long hallway until we reached a second door. “Password?” A huge guy asked. Ricardo said the password, and we were ushered inside. When my eyes adjusted to the dim lights, I discovered an old theater, complete with rows of velvety red seats and a stage where we were standing. We walked down the stage and onto the dance floor. We danced, talked and toasted until the music stopped. Sometime between the last call and sunrise, we finally relaxed, floating in the rhythms of a Bossa version of Waiting in Vain — “From the very first time I rest my eyes on you, girl, my heart says follow through.” — When I woke up, the Bossa was still playing on the speakers, Ricardo was gone, and I was deep in love.
I wasn’t ready for love at first sight, but San Francisco had taken a layer off my skin and prepared me for Ricardo’s love. A love that steered my life into a new direction and challenged me to let go of my structured, perfectly planned life. With Ricardo, I learned life lessons that made me a better person. Like the simple fact that we are all equal human beings with the same wants and needs, we are all in this ride together, we must understand each other through the good days and the bad times too.
Ricardo accelerated my journey into self-awareness and the world around me. I loved to explore San Francisco by his side, experiencing the gentle ways in which he addressed people and how they treated him in response. Next to him, I was seeing exciting lifestyles and creating new rules for my life, I was happy with all the possibilities I suddenly had. Slowly, he guided me into a dream I wanted to live.
Six months later, Ricardo and I went to a festival called Burning Man; it changed my life. That year the theme of the event was Evolution. It was then, in 2009, when our first decade of love began. It’s been ten years since that day, and so much has happened. We’ve experienced fantastic moments and endured tough times. We moved to Brazil and then came back to SF, where we had to start over and build a life out of wishing and dust. Throughout those hard times, I felt safe just by standing next to Ricardo, seeing him gave me hope. Since then, that hope I get from him guides me in the dark when I need magic to believe in life.
From Ricardo, I learned to be more human, count my blessings, and be present. To achieve that, I learned to let go of expectations and accept the now. I used to be quite different. I expected too much from the future and dwelled a lot on the past. As a result, I often got disappointed when my expectations weren’t satisfied. Those expectations were the root of my terrible and tiresome complaining habit. Thanks to Ricardo’s patience and my love for him, I trade expectations with exploration. I switched my mindset from constant complaining to daily observing and accepting. I started to explore him just the way I explore nature on my long urban strolls. It was through those peaceful moments of exploration that I got to know and understand him. Today, I continue to explore the things he likes, the games he plays, the way he thinks and the way he feels, and I am always fascinated by the findings, to say the least.
We’ve had problems like any other couple does, that’s just natural. Recently we fought over the amount of red meat we consume and the outfits we put on the kids. We’ve faced threatening demons too. They’ve had the power to crush our fragile beings, but then, we find ourselves on the other side of our struggles, and we love each other even more. Every time, after the most insignificant fight or colossal wars, I rest in the certainty of his patience and our willingness to love.
It’s been ten years, and I am still learning, but I’ve evolved. Today I know and accept that love is all there is, and it is all there will ever be. After a decade with Ricardo, I’ve learned to love for the simple reason of being in love.
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